And there it is.

Well, this explains a lot.

It explains the intense cravings I've had for junk like Dairy Queen Blizzards and Lucky Charms cereal. It explains the heartburn that I normally never have. It explains the headaches I remember from before. It explains the random twinges that feel a little like cramps even though I rarely, if ever, get cramps. And it explains that feeling I had in the back of my mind that we did it right, that even though I still had a week before my period started, something made me grab two tests at the store this afternoon.

I'm really, really happy. And scared. I wish I could talk more about my feelings, but right now I'm in the "put non-ugly maternity clothes on my private Amazon wishlist" phase. Seriously, besides Target and Old Navy, there is nothing under $50 I would wear. The brand "ripe" (kind of a strange name) has some seriously cute clothes, but there's no way in hell I'm spending $75 on a freakin' tank top.

Still here.

Well, here we are, almost at the six-month deadline, and no pregnancy yet. I've been charting using the Ovia app on my phone and finally got around to getting an ovulation predictor kit this past cycle, which confirmed what I already assumed... I am ovulating fairly early in my cycle, to the point where implantation may just not be happening. There may not be enough time between my period and the ovulation to produce a hospitable environment for a fertilized egg.

As I understand, there's medication for this, but ... I just don't know if I want to push it. I put our little guy to bed tonight, and he was so good and sweet, letting me brush his teeth, change him into jammies and tuck him and his stuffed toys into a little toddler-sized air-mattress at the foot of my bed (his daddy is sick with the stomach flu and I want to make sure he doesn't startle awake in the night with the same thing). He's just such an easy child, and I feel like I'm doing him a disservice by not giving him a sibling, but... I don't know.

I wish I'd just get pregnant and then I wouldn't have to make any more decisions about it.